Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Funny video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043v9GobXm0

Lol. Skip to 4:15 and watch it... if you want... But yeah... it's really funny.... So watch it...



Oh! Watch this too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krTFzsaSLII

And this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQlgA68z_L4&feature=related

Lol... This is great...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSnew1PIYqk&NR=1


Never advertise ladders on the air... yeah...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZhMfzc9RbU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOkLYMKo84k (You know... I wonder if that guy was okay... he hit his head pretty hard...)

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Bull and the Turkey

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey.
"But I just haven't got the energy."


"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."



The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.



He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.



Moral of the story:
Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Stephen, Stephen, Stephen...

So, Stephen swallowed a penny the other day... Why you ask? Well... I have no idea! :P
Here's the story:
Once upon a time, Stephen swall- I'm just kidding! Haha!!

Anyway, Stephen says to mom, "Mom, I ate a penny."
Mom says, "What?!"
Stephen, "I ate a penny."
Mom, "You swallowed a penny?!"
Stephen, "... Yeah."
Mom's starting to freak out. She says, "Does your throat hurt?!"
Stephen, "Yeah."
Blah, blah, blah... (By the way, he doesn't look like he's in pain...)
Now John's starting to freak out cause mom's freaking out. So Brianna's trying to comfort him and says, "John, it's okay. He'll just poop it out."
Blah, blah, blah...
Mom says, "Stephen, you want some num num? (Chocolate milk)
John skips behind mom and says, "Stephen you want some prune juice?!"



Only Betty Bauer's child would say something like that...

****
About an hour and a half later
Stephen's on the toilet and John's with him. I hear, "... Stephen, just try..."
Stephen, "John, I can't poop out the penny."
John, "Just two more pushes."
Stephen, "*Pushes* I can't poop out the penny, John..."


****
Later
Brianna says to Stephen, "Stephen, how's that penny doin? Is it working it's way down to your butt?"
Stephen, "No. The penny is going to poop out of my butt."

**EDIT**
By the way, the penny is out. So you can stop holding your breath. :D

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

*shakes head* John and Stephen make me laugh...

John and Stephen are in their bed and John's crying and saying he's scared, etc...
I say, "John, why are you scared?"
John says, "I'm scared of the closet!"
I say, "Why are you scared of the closet?"
*stops crying* John says, "...I don't know... I'm just scared of it! *starts crying again*"
Stephen sits up in his bed and says, "John, why are you scared of the closet? There's only clothes in there."
John all of a sudden stops crying and says, "Uh... and shoes, Stephen."


Did I miss something? How come he never stops crying when I try to comfort him? Only when he has to correct his two year old brother, does he stop crying. *shakes head* I don't understand.

Monday, September 15, 2008

History

This was in my history book:

In 1487 a new pyramid-temple had been dedicated to Huitzilopochtli in the center of Tenochtitlan. On the flat top of the pyramid was the principal altar, with 600 smaller altars up and down the sides. Tlacaellel organized a four-day-long dedication ceremony. With the booming of the great snakeskin drums echoing over the city and the surrounding lakes, the dedication ceremony began. Thousands of captives, in a column three mile long, were herded across the plaza. The high priest and the lesser priests, in blood-drenched robes, led the victims to the altars. Each trembling man was stretched out flat. The priest plunged an obsidian knife into the victim's chest, pulled out his heart and placed it between the gaping jaws of the stone god. His body was then thrown over to the side. The whole process took 15 seconds.
The mass murders went on for four days and four nights. More than 80,000 men were killed. Most of the nobility, who had been required to be present, could not endure the seemingly never-ending spectacle and fled before its conclusion. But Tlacaellel remained to the end.


Is that harsh or what?! To me, that's just gross. I'm not the type of person to, you know, throw up if I read stuff like that. But I just shake my head and wonder what the flip that guy was thinking during that time. I'm sure he wasn't thinking, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be ripping peoples hearts out and then throwing their bodies to the side." or "Hey, I want a puppy. Now that I'm sitting here watching 80,000 people die, I'd like a puppy!"
It makes me sick!!! Not really... But it's gross. :D Anyway, just thought I'd share that with whoever reads this.:P Have fun.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Some quotes and stuff

Tuesday, Stephen kept talking about going to the movie theater for some reason. So, we went to some place where they have a little movie about Louis and Clark. Mom said to Stephen, "Stephen we're going to the movie theater!"
We get in the little movie theater and they were just going through all the things a normal theater would have. Like the no smoking and all that stuff. Stephen says, "This is not a movie theater!!!" like 5 or 6 times over, and over, and over again. Mom kept saying, "Stephen, shhhhh!!!! This is a movie theater." Finally, he was quiet.

Sunday, we were on our way to Mass, Stephen was not in a very good mood and didn't want to buckle up. So, I had to buckle him. He wasn't happy at all... He started yelling at me and warning me that he was going to unbuckle. I said to him, "Stephen, you better not unbuckle!" He says to me in an angry tone,"Elizabeth, Guess what?!?!?!" I say, "Er... What?!" He says in the same tone, "We're going to the movie theater!!!!" Mom says, "Stephen, we already went to the movie theater." Stephen says, "No we didn't!!!!!!"

Monday, we were on our way to Kentucky and Therese was sitting in her seat and looking out the window, thinking. She says to mom, "Mom, What do homeless people eat?" Lisette says before mom could answer, "Grass." We all start cracking up laughing!

We finally get to the hotel we're staying in and we all start celebrating and saying, "Woohoo!!! We're here!!" And then Therese says, "Mom, you never fail us."

Missouri

Missouri:

Missouri was fun, very fun. We got there Monday afternoon after, like, eight hours. When it was supposed to be, like, six. Anyway, I don't really remember what we did Monday and Tuesday... I don't think we really did anything those two days.

Wednesday, we just hung out at the house and went swimming in their neighborhood pool.
Thursday, we were supposed to go to a little water place called Wapelhorst, but, mom got some times confused and thought it closed at midnight, when it really closed at seven. So... we didn't go that day. Friday, we went to the little water park. They had a few slides.
One was, like, 4 or 5 stories high. And it gave you really, really, really bad wedgies. Anyway, it was really fun and I got a pretty good tan.

They had a slide for little kids. John loved it! It was so funny cause every time he went down, he went soooooooo slow!! I don't know why he was going down so slow. But he would have to push off of the slide slide to go down further. And it would take him, like, five minutes to go down the little slide.
Saturday, we went to a few different stores and the library. That's about all we did Saturday.
Sunday, we went to the 10:30am Mass. The priest had a great homily. He brought up how some people say that the guy from Man Vs. Wild is a fake and stuff like that. In the afternoon, Maria and I made a Triple Chocolate Bliss Cake. It was really good. Too good, actually.
This morning we got up early and got things ready and said goodbye and left. And now, we're at the Hyatt hotel. It's really nice.
Did I mention we got a magic bunny? Yeah... It was trained to be pulled out of a magic hat. So he's really good.
There's this TV show called Monk and it's awesome!!!!! It's really good. And funny.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

A Stephen Quote

So, this morning we went to Walmart. Mom decided that we'll get some stuff for ice cream Sundaes (a lot of stuff as it turned out. As it always turns out...) Anyway, we get all the stuff and get back to the house and I started blending up the Oreos. Stephen was sitting on the counter. He kept asking, and asking, and asking for a cookie. I said, "Stephen, you can't have a cookie 'till after lunch." He says to me, "You are a yucky dirty garbage can, Elizabeth!"

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Alabama!!!!!

So... We're in Alabama... That's about it! Bye.






Hahahahaha!!! Just kidding!!!!! Ha! You believed me! :P
So... Alabama...
It's hot. It's summer here too! Ain't that somethin'? :P We got here Thursday evening. It took us like 14 hours to get here. Which was a real pain. With some many kids... I felt like jumping out of the car... But that would have pointless. Anyway, We basically had pizza and showered and went to bed.

Friday:
We didn't really do much but swim a little and ate lunch and dinner... Oh and we watched National Treasure 2. I love those movies soooo much.

Saturday:
I was like the last one to get up this morning... And it was only nine something Alabama time!!!!!! I don't know how they wake up so early and not take a nap later in the day.
Anyway, Mr. Kutz made us some of their famous pancakes. It was really good.
After that, we got ready to go out to different places. We went to the University of North Alabama and walked around a little bit and then went to eat. We went to some chicken n' biscuits place. I forget what the name was called... They had good biscuits... But I think KFC is better.
After that, we went to some park that has a playground and some water thingy.... It like shoots up water from the ground... Whatever those things are called. After that, some of us went to Mass cause Becca had to sing. She did a really good job. I didn't even know she could sing... Which is kinda funny cause we've known them for years... So yeah... That's about it for today... I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow.
See ya!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Trip!!!

Okay, so we're redoing our kitchen cause of the water damage (If you didn't know about it, I don't really feel like going through the whole story. So, ask Andrew.) Anyway, we have to be out of the house cause the house isn't really... livable... So we're going to different states. First, Alabama. Then Missouri. Then Kentucky. And then, North Carolina. So yeah... hopefully I'll be able to post more about how everything's going and stuff.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I've been told by several people that I'm mean to Andrew. I don't see why anyone cares. It's not like anyone cares about him. He's just annoying. Maybe people can help me out. Not that I'd care what you say cause you're probably going to stick up for him. But you can anyway... I guess.



*EDIT*
I'm just kidding by the way. I didn't know people would think I'm serious...
I don't hate Andrew. It's just sometimes he annoys me. A lot. So yeah... Sorry if you thought I was serious! Okay. Bye.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Birthday!!!

I would like to wish my cousin, Dorthea Catherine Bauer, A Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!!!!!! She turned fifteen today. She can get her permit!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!! :P Anyway, Happy Birthday!!!! Love ya!!!

Bye, bye, bye, Andrew!

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! It really happened!!! He's gone!!!! Haha! I never thought that Andrew would ever go somewhere without any other family members. But he did! I've been soooo happy and content. It's amazing. But I have to say, I miss him...... driving me around. Haha! You thought I was going to say that I missed him, right? Ha! Why would I ever do that? Too bad he has to come home tomorrow. Maybe he'll come back changed. Maybe he'll act his age........ No. Never would he do that. It's not in his nature.

You know? He always says, "Oh, Elizabeth always writes about me in her blog... She always says how wonderful I am and everything."
But really, I don't ever remember saying anything nice about him... I know I haven't said anything nice about him. I don't even know why he reads my blog in the first place. It's kinda like he's stalking me. *shivers* And that's kind of scary.
And now Chas keeps saying, "I bet you don't write about me in your blog." I said, "You want me to say how much I hate you or something?" And he says, "I don't care! Just something!!" (I wasn't expecting him to want me to say that I hate him...)
Well, Chas, there you go.
Anyway, I tried to get dad to, like, have a party... But he wouldn't do it!!! He hates Andrew too! Why wouldn't he want to celebrate having him gone? I will never know...

Monday, June 30, 2008

It's a positive... Natalie's a blonde.

*shakes head* I don't understand.
I wasn't there for this one, but it was really funny.
Blonde moment #1
You know that trick where you say to someone, "*points to someone's shirt* you have a bug on your shirt!" or "*points to someone's shirt* You have a stain on your shirt!" and then they look down and you do that thingy with your finger? That's what Natalie was trying to do to dad. But of course like... no one goes for it anymore. So she's trying soooooo hard to get him to look down and he wouldn't. She tried it like twenty times.
Then like a second later, Dad says to Natalie, "*Points to her shirt* you have a stain on your shirt." And guess what? She looks down!!!!! and you know the rest...
Is that a Natalie moment or what?!?!

Blonde moment #2
Andrew goes to Natalie, "*sticks hand out* shake my hand."
She shakes his hand.
He squeezes it.
She rips her hand from his.
*Few minutes later*
Andrew says to Natalie, "*sticks hand out* shake my hand."
She shakes it again...
Guess what he does?... squeezes it.
Then he tries to do it to me... And of course I'm not an idiot.
I say, "No."
Andrew says, "I guess Natalie's the only one dumb enough to do it twice."

Thursday, June 26, 2008

John, John, John...


Andrew and John were watching a video of all of us kids trying to catch a fly, (long story; don't ask.) and Therese started talking to my mom on the video and John says while watching it, "Haha. Ha. Ha. Therese is so annoying."

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Second Day Of VBS

Second day of VBS.

.........

Monday, June 23, 2008

Did I ever tell you?

Did I ever tell you that I hate Andrew? Well, I do.
Mom and Dad disappear. Again. And we (well, not "we" anymore) have to babysit. So... Andrew leaves to go see a movie. I tell Dad that I'm depressed and I asked him if I can leave too. And he just started laughing! Like it was a joke! It's not. It's not fair. I swear, I'm gonna go nuts. And he didn't even help out before he left.
I can hear him laughing at me now.


*Edit*
I think I'm gonna just knock em out and tie them up. And then I can sleep.

Disabled

Okay... So today I've had a really bad headache. So I asked Natalie if she could get a Gatorade so I could chug it. (It's supposed to get rid of headaches) So she gets it and I start to open it and she takes away from me and opens it. I said, Natalie, I can open it. She says, Yeah, but you're disabled. As if I have a mental problem. I think she's the one who has the mental problem.

VBS (Vacation Bible School)


It was the first day today. And I already have a nickname!!! It's Scary. Yes you read that correctly. Believe it or not. That's what a little boy named me. Yeah. I know. Do I look scary to you? I didn't think so. So yeah...



Don't be fooled by her cute little face. They can get... inside your head.
It's pretty scary.
Anyway, This was kinda a pointless post. But that's okay.



Sunday, June 22, 2008

Leprechauns!!! Gold!!!!..... Rainbow!!!

I was babysitting last night and the little girl that I was babysitting always tells stories.
So last night she said that she found the end of the rainbow and a pot of gold and a leprechaun.
Wow!

For those of you who don't know what that looks like...












So there you go. Yeah, I know it looks like the lucky charms cereal... But it's not. Really.



*Edit*


I just looked up, is the end of the rainbow with a pot of gold and a leprechaun real?
And this came up,




Leprechauns are little magical hoppity green creatures commonly confused with the Irish. Although by large most of them are, in fact, actually Swedish, most Leprechauns deny any connection to the Swedes, preferring to claim they are of French, Russian, or African descent. Leprechauns are not to be confused with little people, them what used to be known in some parts as midgets.


It doesn't really look like the guy for Lucky Charms...

And apparently, Leprechauns eat small twigs and berries, along with the occasional turd.


So maybe it is true!
Maybe Andrew's a leprechaun!

*Sigh*

I've said it so many times before and I'm going to say it again... Andrew's going to die.
And it's not going to be from natural causes.



You see how it's dark around his face?
Yeah... That's because he's evil.



We're in mass and of course every Sunday I have to sit next to him. And of course he has to annoy the heck out of me. Don't you think he should be paying attention to mass? Yeah. No.

First, He starts leaning his arm on my arm just to annoy me. (Kinda how Uncle Peter would lean his leg against Dad's in the car.)
Second, He starts copying me.
Third, I don't know. He starts laughing.

He says last night, "Elizabeth, God says you shall not kill. So you can't kill me."
And I said to him, "Did He say, 'You shall not hurt'? " And I pushed him and ran away.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Here's one of Therese's moments,

Therese says to Chas, "Chas, give me a high five."
*Therese puts her hand up*
Chas says, "Why?"
Therese says, "Because I want to give you a high five."
*Chas puts his finger up to Therese's hand*
*Therese takes her hand away* and says, "Who's gay!"
Chas says, "Therese, I didn't even put my hand up."
Therese says, "Doesn't matter... you're still gay!"


That's Therese for ya!
I was asked by myself to make a blog. So I made one. Here it is.

Anyway,
I don't even know if anyone will even read this. I don't even know if I care. As long as I'm able to say what I want to say then I'm fine.
Okay... Well, maybe I'll add some pictures and stuff later.



~Elizabeth