The Bull and the Turkey

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey.
"But I just haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Stephen, Stephen, Stephen...

So, Stephen swallowed a penny the other day... Why you ask? Well... I have no idea! :P
Here's the story:
Once upon a time, Stephen swall- I'm just kidding! Haha!!

Anyway, Stephen says to mom, "Mom, I ate a penny."
Mom says, "What?!"
Stephen, "I ate a penny."
Mom, "You swallowed a penny?!"
Stephen, "... Yeah."
Mom's starting to freak out. She says, "Does your throat hurt?!"
Stephen, "Yeah."
Blah, blah, blah... (By the way, he doesn't look like he's in pain...)
Now John's starting to freak out cause mom's freaking out. So Brianna's trying to comfort him and says, "John, it's okay. He'll just poop it out."
Blah, blah, blah...
Mom says, "Stephen, you want some num num? (Chocolate milk)
John skips behind mom and says, "Stephen you want some prune juice?!"



Only Betty Bauer's child would say something like that...

****

About an hour and a half later
Stephen's on the toilet and John's with him. I hear, "... Stephen, just try..."
Stephen, "John, I can't poop out the penny."
John, "Just two more pushes."
Stephen, "*Pushes* I can't poop out the penny, John..."

****

Later
Brianna says to Stephen, "Stephen, how's that penny doin? Is it working it's way down to your butt?"
Stephen, "No. The penny is going to poop out of my butt."

**EDIT**

By the way, the penny is out. So you can stop holding your breath. :D