The Bull and the Turkey

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey.
"But I just haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Stephen, Stephen, Stephen...

So, Stephen swallowed a penny the other day... Why you ask? Well... I have no idea! :P
Here's the story:
Once upon a time, Stephen swall- I'm just kidding! Haha!!

Anyway, Stephen says to mom, "Mom, I ate a penny."
Mom says, "What?!"
Stephen, "I ate a penny."
Mom, "You swallowed a penny?!"
Stephen, "... Yeah."
Mom's starting to freak out. She says, "Does your throat hurt?!"
Stephen, "Yeah."
Blah, blah, blah... (By the way, he doesn't look like he's in pain...)
Now John's starting to freak out cause mom's freaking out. So Brianna's trying to comfort him and says, "John, it's okay. He'll just poop it out."
Blah, blah, blah...
Mom says, "Stephen, you want some num num? (Chocolate milk)
John skips behind mom and says, "Stephen you want some prune juice?!"



Only Betty Bauer's child would say something like that...

****

About an hour and a half later
Stephen's on the toilet and John's with him. I hear, "... Stephen, just try..."
Stephen, "John, I can't poop out the penny."
John, "Just two more pushes."
Stephen, "*Pushes* I can't poop out the penny, John..."

****

Later
Brianna says to Stephen, "Stephen, how's that penny doin? Is it working it's way down to your butt?"
Stephen, "No. The penny is going to poop out of my butt."

**EDIT**

By the way, the penny is out. So you can stop holding your breath. :D

*shakes head* John and Stephen make me laugh...

John and Stephen are in their bed and John's crying and saying he's scared, etc...
I say, "John, why are you scared?"
John says, "I'm scared of the closet!"
I say, "Why are you scared of the closet?"
*stops crying* John says, "...I don't know... I'm just scared of it! *starts crying again*"
Stephen sits up in his bed and says, "John, why are you scared of the closet? There's only clothes in there."
John all of a sudden stops crying and says, "Uh... and shoes, Stephen."


Did I miss something? How come he never stops crying when I try to comfort him? Only when he has to correct his two year old brother, does he stop crying. *shakes head* I don't understand.

History

This was in my history book:

In 1487 a new pyramid-temple had been dedicated to Huitzilopochtli in the center of Tenochtitlan. On the flat top of the pyramid was the principal altar, with 600 smaller altars up and down the sides. Tlacaellel organized a four-day-long dedication ceremony. With the booming of the great snakeskin drums echoing over the city and the surrounding lakes, the dedication ceremony began. Thousands of captives, in a column three mile long, were herded across the plaza. The high priest and the lesser priests, in blood-drenched robes, led the victims to the altars. Each trembling man was stretched out flat. The priest plunged an obsidian knife into the victim's chest, pulled out his heart and placed it between the gaping jaws of the stone god. His body was then thrown over to the side. The whole process took 15 seconds.
The mass murders went on for four days and four nights. More than 80,000 men were killed. Most of the nobility, who had been required to be present, could not endure the seemingly never-ending spectacle and fled before its conclusion. But Tlacaellel remained to the end.


Is that harsh or what?! To me, that's just gross. I'm not the type of person to, you know, throw up if I read stuff like that. But I just shake my head and wonder what the flip that guy was thinking during that time. I'm sure he wasn't thinking, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be ripping peoples hearts out and then throwing their bodies to the side." or "Hey, I want a puppy. Now that I'm sitting here watching 80,000 people die, I'd like a puppy!"
It makes me sick!!! Not really... But it's gross. :D Anyway, just thought I'd share that with whoever reads this.:P Have fun.

Some quotes and stuff

Tuesday, Stephen kept talking about going to the movie theater for some reason. So, we went to some place where they have a little movie about Louis and Clark. Mom said to Stephen, "Stephen we're going to the movie theater!"
We get in the little movie theater and they were just going through all the things a normal theater would have. Like the no smoking and all that stuff. Stephen says, "This is not a movie theater!!!" like 5 or 6 times over, and over, and over again. Mom kept saying, "Stephen, shhhhh!!!! This is a movie theater." Finally, he was quiet.

Sunday, we were on our way to Mass, Stephen was not in a very good mood and didn't want to buckle up. So, I had to buckle him. He wasn't happy at all... He started yelling at me and warning me that he was going to unbuckle. I said to him, "Stephen, you better not unbuckle!" He says to me in an angry tone,"Elizabeth, Guess what?!?!?!" I say, "Er... What?!" He says in the same tone, "We're going to the movie theater!!!!" Mom says, "Stephen, we already went to the movie theater." Stephen says, "No we didn't!!!!!!"

Monday, we were on our way to Kentucky and Therese was sitting in her seat and looking out the window, thinking. She says to mom, "Mom, What do homeless people eat?" Lisette says before mom could answer, "Grass." We all start cracking up laughing!

We finally get to the hotel we're staying in and we all start celebrating and saying, "Woohoo!!! We're here!!" And then Therese says, "Mom, you never fail us."

Missouri

Missouri:

Missouri was fun, very fun. We got there Monday afternoon after, like, eight hours. When it was supposed to be, like, six. Anyway, I don't really remember what we did Monday and Tuesday... I don't think we really did anything those two days.

Wednesday, we just hung out at the house and went swimming in their neighborhood pool.

Thursday, we were supposed to go to a little water place called Wapelhorst, but, mom got some times confused and thought it closed at midnight, when it really closed at seven. So... we didn't go that day. Friday, we went to the little water park. They had a few slides.
One was, like, 4 or 5 stories high. And it gave you really, really, really bad wedgies. Anyway, it was really fun and I got a pretty good tan.

They had a slide for little kids. John loved it! It was so funny cause every time he went down, he went soooooooo slow!! I don't know why he was going down so slow. But he would have to push off of the slide slide to go down further. And it would take him, like, five minutes to go down the little slide.

Saturday, we went to a few different stores and the library. That's about all we did Saturday.

Sunday, we went to the 10:30am Mass. The priest had a great homily. He brought up how some people say that the guy from Man Vs. Wild is a fake and stuff like that. In the afternoon, Maria and I made a Triple Chocolate Bliss Cake. It was really good. Too good, actually.

This morning we got up early and got things ready and said goodbye and left. And now, we're at the Hyatt hotel. It's really nice.

Did I mention we got a magic bunny? Yeah... It was trained to be pulled out of a magic hat. So he's really good.

There's this TV show called Monk and it's awesome!!!!! It's really good. And funny.

A Stephen Quote

So, this morning we went to Walmart. Mom decided that we'll get some stuff for ice cream Sundaes (a lot of stuff as it turned out. As it always turns out...) Anyway, we get all the stuff and get back to the house and I started blending up the Oreos. Stephen was sitting on the counter. He kept asking, and asking, and asking for a cookie. I said, "Stephen, you can't have a cookie 'till after lunch." He says to me, "You are a yucky dirty garbage can, Elizabeth!"